ABACUS & The Android Blast Off
The Chronicles of Roxie Vega
The origin story of ABACUS
This story originally appeared in Amazing Stories, September 2024.
ABACUS & the Android Blast Off
6 Months Ago - On the set of a reality show in a robot manufacturing plant. On Earth.
The robot calculated his age as three minutes old. He twisted his square head and used his bottom ball to rotate for a complete look at this new world. Joy burbled up in his sensors as he whipped in circles with a whirring sound.
Spinning was fun!
His head clicked as the gears in his brain warmed up. He was in a human-constructed warehouse with three other androids. Snap, snap, snap went his electric impulses.
Counting and equating were even better than spinning!
This space was precisely 5004 square feet. About the area of a basketball court according to his comparison functions. Colorful obstacles were set up in the corners. They appeared to be challenges.
Excitement bloomed in his metal belly. He was programmed to love challenges.
An enormous plasma screen on the wall of the warehouse flashed, “BLAST OFF! TESTING ANDROIDS+ PROTOTYPES.”
Spectators sat along the wall on chairs. He counted them. Forty humans. Most onlookers wore pale overalls. One person with furry ears was dressed in a red outfit. A spot of color in the ivory sea. She was a humanoid/canine alien in a red body suit, watching intently while flicking her long, black, and white tail.
The robot paused, wondering why the outlier was allowed to attend. She winked, and he decided if she wasn’t worried, why should he be? Besides, there was so much to see and compute. He spun his head shyly and purred. He was enjoying his new existence.
A new message flashed on the plasma screen.
“THREE CHALLENGES! LAST TO FINISH GETS BLOWN UP."
He bleeped in shock. Blown up?
The tickling excitement transformed into fear. These were challenges with consequences. The robot nervously indexed the other three robots, all of whom had big name tags stuck to their fronts. He looked at his own shiny round front and saw a name there.
ABACUS. His name was ABACUS!
He studied the other three. His frame was by far the smallest. BRUTUS was blocky and had four arms. OPTIMUS had wings and slender hands. EINSTEIN was gold with intelligent eyes.
ABACUS trembled, his balls rattling together. He had wee arms that extended out of his middle sphere. With an icy feeling, he flashed “XXX” on his face.
EINSTEIN fluttered his hands to his chest. “Goodness me, are those little X’s kisses for me? Pleased to meet a fan.”
ABACUS gave a snort.
A sharp-faced woman addressed the audience. “All employees know who I am, but for the sales reps in the crowd, I’m Rissa Reese, Head of Development.”
ABACUS clasped his hands with a metal screech.
“We like to have a bit of fun testing our new models. A blast if you will.” Rissa waited for the laughter. “The first challenge is a puzzle. Who will survive round one?”
A spotlight lit up an area that was set up with groups of colorful blocks. ABACUS rolled onto the circle with his name flashing in blue letters. He hummed to calm himself.
Rissa raised her hand. “And GO.” She slashed her arm down.
In a flurry of quick movements, OPTIMA assembled the pieces into a globe resembling planet Earth. ABACUS squeaked in surprise. His skinny arms couldn’t move at a tenth of that speed. He put the first few pieces together, and BRUTUS did the same.
EINSTEIN raised his hands over his head. “This was an invigorating start, but hardly arduous.” His puzzle was complete.
ABACUS froze for a second. If he didn’t complete the puzzle before the other enormous android, he would live and die in one day. He spun his head in a complete circle to calm himself and zoned in on the shape of the blocks.
He could see the solution mathematically. The block's angles would fit perfectly only one way.
He finished a fraction before BRUTUS and rolled out of the area as fast as his bottom ball would roll.
The muscular android’s circle exploded. Bits and pieces of shrapnel bounced off ABACUS’s head. The explosion sent his synapses into a frenzy. With a series of high gibbering bleeps, he rolled into OPTIMA, knocking them both to the stage.
The sleek android used her wings to right herself and flapped over to the next challenge in a huff. ABACUS spun his big ball in humiliation, unable to right himself.
EINSTEIN leaned over to give him a hand. “I’ll say wee chap, that was quite the photo finish. Glad you beat our combatant cohort at the final computation.”
They moved to the next area where Rissa tapped her high-heeled shoe. It was a long bar and Optima was already clinging to it with her hands and the tips of her wings. EINSTEIN helped ABACUS up. He extended his skinny little arms and clung on, silently thanking his designer for making his body light. His gold friend joined him, and as the tallest competitor, EINSTEIN’S feet remained on the ground.
EINSTEIN said, “I’ll say this is going to be --”
The floor slid open over a roaring fire. EINSTEIN, who hadn’t gripped the bar properly, fell into the pit with an anguished scream. ABACUS emitted a high-pitched wail and flashed “*#$%!!!!”.
His new friend flailed and thrashed in the fire. ABACUS's whole system felt cold as EINSTEIN disappeared into the flames, an astonished look melting from his face. ABACUS locked his fingers tight around the bar and swung up until his feet pointed to the ceiling.
OPTIMA gave him a withering look. “It’s getting hot in here, isn’t it, tin head? We all know who’s going to win this.” She let go of the bar and flew to the third and final obstacle.
ABACUS gathered some momentum by spinning and leaping back to the floor.
The final challenge consisted of two pool tables filled with balls. Each pocket was a different color and corresponded to a ball.
Rissa said, “This one is self-explanatory. The loser gets recycled, the winner mass-marketed! Go.”
OPTIMA hovered above the table and methodically sank balls. ABACUS couldn’t shoot faster than the winged android. He blipped and flashed “0000.”
The lady in the catsuit caught his eye. “Go for it, little man.” She leaned forward in her chair, nodding.
ABACUS looked at the table and saw it. The mathematical solution in angles. If he hit the orange ball in just the right way, it would careen into the purple ball. With a single whack, he started a chain reaction.
Silence fell over the warehouse as OPTIMA sank her third-to-last ball. ABACUS’s table cleared with a crescendo of clacks. Was it going to be enough? He flashed “!!!!.” It was going to be close.
The tiny android’s last ball fell into its pocket a fraction of a second before his opponent’s.
OPTIMA’s work area exploded, but she flew up to the ceiling with her arms crossed over her chest. The table was in pieces, but she was fine.
ABACUS wheeled over to Rissa, “+++!” on his face.
She whispered to the red lady and then addressed the room. “Though ABACUS has won our challenge, OPTIMA’s performance has impressed us more. She will be our new prototype!”
ABACUS flashed “????????” while the crowd gathered around OPTIMA. He was alone by the pool tables.
Rissa looked over at ABACUS. “Destroy the calculator.”
ABACUS wheeled in panicked circles. Red lady raised her hand. “I’ll buy the droid.”
Rissa shrugged and nodded.
His new owner patted his head. “You are one of a kind and smart as a whip. My name is Dana, and I own a bar. You can help me do the books and serve drinks. Who wants to be mass-marketed anyway?”
ABACUS flashed “❤️” and rolled after his new friend.
More challenges and computing. He couldn’t wait.
The next Roxie Vega & ABACUS story drops next Wednesday.
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Interested in how ABACUS becomes Roxie’s sidekick?
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